Nostalgia and Sentimentalism

23 Apr

I’ve always been sentimental, even before I could spell the word. However, my sentimentality has typically been defined by quiet moments of reflection upon seemingly insignificant events. But this recent bout of sentimentality is of a different kind—a new kind for me.

Last evening found my boyfriend and I on a late-night In-N-Out run. As we stopped at a stop sign while leaving the parking lot, a compact car passed in front of us, heading toward the exit. Inside was a mother and daughter who had apparently, like us, just visited a drive-thru in search of late-night sustenance. The sight of this mother and daughter, out late getting junk food together, gave me pause. At this moment in time I’m finishing my freshman year of college and will return home this summer to live, and then return to on-campus housing for the fall and spring terms. But my boyfriend and I are planning to be married next May, meaning that this summer will be the last time I live at home, probably for the rest of my life. I’ve been itching for independence for such a long time that I never seemed to make much room for the thought of what it would feel like to not be dependent any more. My family has been such a tight-knit little group (with my mom being my best friend) for the entire extent of my short life, and within a little over a year’s time everything has changed—I started dating my boyfriend, was accepted to university, moved to said university, and now am planning to get married. All this to say, I’m still eager to make a home and my own family with my boyfriend, but I now feel the gravity of the situation as I never have before. As my boyfriend put it, after I relayed all this to him, now I’m heading down the road to being the mom in that car—leaving my role of the young daughter behind.

*sniff*

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