28 Feb

Irony is a funny thing. And so can the gifts we’ve been given when their exercise contrasts with our personalities.

I’ve been a shy, introverted, awkward person for some time now (let’s say pretty much all of my life). It’s hard for me to share my feelings, let you know what I’m really thinking, and, well, stuff like that (…see). Except for this period of time between kindergarten and first grade… I used to get in trouble at school for talking too much. Yep. Don’t know what happened there.

Anyway. Fast forward to mid-February.

About a month or so before, a friend asked me if I wanted to participate in a writing project. A gal she is good friends with is putting together a program to produce at our church, and she wanted to gather a group of people to write the different parts. Each person was to choose a specific Bible character to research for the purpose of writing a conversational monologue based on a particular period of time when their faith was being tested. After spending some time digging into the text, writing, rewriting, and correcting, I sent it for submission. Then, a night passed. I looked it over and rewrote (bad habit) a few sections and, again, sent the piece for submission. Another night passed. Then a day. Then another night and day. A reply had not yet come. Aaah! Then I reminded my neurotic self that people have lives, jobs, social calendars, and I’m sure other projects going on. Oh, yeah. Yes, I am ashamed.

(My friend did get back to me, and very quickly in light of all that she has on her plate. If you’re reading this, friend, please, please forgive my paranoid and neurotic behavior…I’m utterly ridiculous.)

Then, as I was washing the dishes and pondering over my ridiculousness one night, a funny thought occurred to me. How ironic it was for God to instill in me the raw (and constantly being refined) talent of writing, knowing that I would grow and form into a shy, nervous, approval-seeking person. As a writer (at least for me), a part of you goes into whatever project you create, whether it be a blog post, a short story, a novel, etc. Each piece has a bit of you in it, and sending that out into the world to be read and scrutinized is like having a part of yourself put on display in a shop window for all to critique. I appreciate that God has a sense of humor, and that He’s also instilled in me a skill and urge to step outside of myself to talk about Him and give Him glory through the written word. No matter how reluctant I may be to speak and share verbally, He’s given me a chance to do that through writing—only something He could do through shy, awkward, ridiculous me.

Thank you for giving me a skill for employing the written word in the place of diction, Lord. May each word, sentence, and paragraph be glorifying to You by reflecting the artistry of their Architect.


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